I debated whether to take Nathan to a friend's son's birthday party or not. I rather suspected he would not play with the other kids, and that the setting (the gymnastics gym) might be too challenging for him. At the same time, I would like him to be a part of things like this and I am happy that he was invited. I woke him from nap to come and he was tired and scared and clingy, so not off to a good start. I took him outside and calmed him down, got him out of the shoes and orthotics and socks (why didn't I just put him in sandals before we came?), and walked him around the mats and tumbling stuff. We found some piece of equipment that rocks, and he was quite content to sit there and rock in it. Somebody brought him a party hat and he rocked and waved the hat. I tried to engage him in other stuff, trampolines (he doesn't jump yet, but likes to be bounced), etc, but he was happier where he was. The facilitators had the kids do a couple games to music, and Nathan danced and played with a rythym stick, which he loves. He enjoyed pizza, but because of the noise level in the eating area, he was scared and needed to have a hand on me at all times. Still, I am happy he can enjoy pizza with the other kids now-- it was about a year ago he finally outgrew that intolerance to proteins that really limited his diet, and I am still so happy for him that he can eat what he wants. At the end there was some more play in the gym, and bubbles. We found a bigger piece of equipment that rocks, and Nathan had big smiles and squeals of delight when I rocked him in that! I also met a mom of another party guest, a 5 year old who is on the autism spectrum and who used to attend Nathan's special preschool. He's now running and playing with the other kids, so that was nice to see. Mom only had to intervene in one meltdown.
So, in the end, I was glad we went, Nathan did have fun. I was pretty exhausted, but I think that's probably a normal reaction to small children's birthday parties. If you also read
The Bates Motel you'll see that my post relates to hers today in some ways-- the difficulties of taking your child somewhere where they are supposed to have (a certain kind of) fun. I guess the bottom line for us is this: Nathan often has his own kind of fun, and then I get to work on being okay with that.
he looks like he's having fun - more fun than i would have had. i like your bottom line - i've spent the last year working on being ok with that for myself. trying new things, getting acclimated, fearing less, getting used to noticing people watching me when i can't quite do what everyone else is doing. my situation is really different than yours, but there are some similarities, for sure.
ReplyDeletei really enjoy your observations!
Oh, so ironic!! And yes, you're right, it's whether or not our kids can have fun in whatever way they can that matters, rather than in the way we feel they *should* have fun. That will come. I have posted so many times about birthday parties, too, and this definitely looked familiar! LOL Glad Nathan had a good time. :-) I love your photos - what a cutie!
ReplyDelete*love this*
ReplyDeleteEveryday I have to remind myself to honor Joaquin and who he is, what he enjoys, and what he doesn't. I believe our kids are our greatest teachers.